Jake's Thoughts

...	Home
...	Anime
...	Games
...	About me
...	Media
...	Webring
...	Links
...	Test
...	Login
...	Guest
...	Git

My name is Jake.

Commander Shred Peh

Created by Jake Thoughts, on 04 Jun 2021.

This test is a realistic test regarding various events one may experience as being a commander of a ship. Don't ask me how I know.

This test is designed with features that uses JavaScript, however it will work without JavaScript as the test itself is server side. You should view the JavaScript yourself to ensure that you are okay with it running by viewing the page source (it is only three lines).

Question 1: Commander! Alliance Command want us to double back and seize Cape Callporium by surprise! What do we do?

What in the...? Commander Shred Peh does no such thing! We'll blow up the entire planet instead! MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Uh, ok. Lets double back!
Alliance Command is full of bureaucrats who doesn't understand the value of strategic deployment nor have they even been in a dogfight let alone a firefight; continue on our path.

Question 2: Commander! We can't do that here! N-not in the hallway!

Woman, shut the hell up! My ship, my rules!
Ah, yes, you are correct, my hormones have gotten the best of me.
Oh, of course, report to my chambers at once!

Question 3: Commander! The Alliance Human Resources Community have found you guilty of sexual harassment and other misgivings. What say you?

Oh really? When I am free, I will kill you all.
So this is how justice is done in the Alliance? How utterly despicable. I literally sacrificed so much and this is the thanks I get?
I'm guilty. So what? I don't think you have the balls to do anything to me.

Question 4: Psst, Commander! I'm on your side! I can sneak you an item but only one!

A knife.
A radio transmission to the crew.
Give me nothing; I'll let humanity die off without me. If humanity wanted me gone this badly they should've just said so.

Question 5: Well, then. That nasty business is over. My title of commander is still stripped from me. What shall I do to get it back?

Join a pirate crew and successfully pull off a mutiny.
Work my way up from ground zero with the Alliance. Yes, all the way from private... UGH
Become a mercenary: my reputation will carry me far.

Question 6: Commander! The crew is bound to mutiny! What do we do?

Oh, that's easy: space them all.
Let me give them a morale raising speech!
Challenge the prime mutineers to a death duel.
Give them their own ship; they don't follow me now, they won't follow me anywhere.
Give them their own ship, then blow it up. No one will dare leave me now.

Question 7: Commander! We've spotted a planet making illegal transactions but the planet relies on them to survive. What do we do?

Seize the illegal goods! There shan't be any left alive to tell the tale!
Do nothing: the planet needs these goods just to survive! I cannot bear the weight of murdering an entire planet on my shoulder, especially the children! Think of the children!!
Yoink! Some of these illegally gained goods belong to us now. Nothing wrong with a little piracy, I mean that's what the planet is doing after all.
Attempt to negotiate a better deal for the planet to the planet leader.
Promise the planet that you will bring goods and other supplies to them if they stop making illegal transactions.

Question 8: Commander! The Alliance Command seeks our aid! How do we respond?

Accept the call. Then hang up immediately.
Listen to what they have to say.
Do not listen, they cast me out; now I cast them out.

Question 9: Err, commander? These files the Alliance faxed over do seem kind of important. Look at this one!

Hm? What the... I love war. Just when I thought I was done with them they bring me back in! Lets commit war crimes! YEAH!!
Oh dear. I really have to listen to them now.
Ah, how convenient for them. They just happen to fax over something they know that I deeply care for. So be it.

Question 10: The ship has ejected some escape pods, sir!

Blast them!
Capture them!
Follow them!

Question 11: Commander! We have acquired some prisoners! What shall we do with them?

Beat them to death!
Attempt to extract information out of them.
Rally them to join the crew!

Question 12: Commander! Alliance is asking us to dock with their main vessel, the Traitor Fucker 9000 for promotions! What shall we do?

Dock with them at once.
Err... on the other hand... Traitor Fucker 9000? That's a name for fuckery if I've ever seen one. Instruct them to board our ship instead. Also, bring out the cheap wine, I am NOT wasting the good stuff.
What the hell kind of name is Traitor Fucker 9000? Given our history with the Alliance, lets NOT dock with them - in fact not docking whatsoever IS the best move here.

Question 13: They're attempting to FUCK us commander! What do we do??

Cocksuckers! Let's fuck them back!
Oh dear. Open a line of communication with them now! There must be some kind of mistake!
Pilot! Get us the HELL out of this solar system NOW!

Question 14: It's too late commander! Any final regrets?

I wish I had committed more war crimes.
I wish I had helped more people...
I wish I had never gotten involved with the worthless organization known as the Alliance. What a joke.

Other thoughts

Lain scored: Bad Incarnation on 2021-07-31,02:31:04 said:
oh no! not a rock!
Random Name scored: Meh Incarnation on 2022-12-28,18:10:09 said:
this was really fun

Due to abuse (the comments you see now are not abuse), commenting will be disabled for sometime. Send an email or something.